Me: Did you find everything you needed?
Him: Yes, thank you. Actually, do you have any more chains in stock? I could use a few spares.
Me: We don't, but I can call our sister store in San Francisco.
Him: Don't bother. It's not a big deal. It's just, you never know when you're going to need to chain someone up. I like to be prepared.
Me: I understand. Is this a screaming melon or just a whispering melon?
Him: Did the sticker come off? It should be a screaming melon.
Me: Got it.
Him: Do you have all the produce codes memorized?
Me: There is only one produce code. 666.
Him: Clever. Oh, and are these Demonic Doritos on sale? The sign was folded over, so I couldn't tell.
Me: Yes, they are still on sale.
Him: Great.
Me: Let me just reach over to your cart so I can scan in the sledgehammer and the ax. Alright, sir, is this all for today?
Him: Should be.
Me: Then your total comes to $1296.14.
Him: ...
Me: Is there a problem?
Him: ...
Me: Sir?
Him: I'll...just...go--
Me: What? Sir, don't you dare leave! I will call the hordes of flying flesh down upon you and SO HELP ME they will peck out your eyeballs before you can say, "Poltergeist!" You--stop throwing flaming toilet paper at me; I have fireproof skin! Sir! ...can't breathe...phew... Sometimes, I hate working at Terror-Mart.
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