365 Creative Writing Prompts: Cleaning

It's not easy cleaning up after monster children. The sludge alone--literal sludge--is enough to make a human faint. But it doesn't stop at the sludge. That would be too easy.

My children leave cold spots and trails of slime all over the house. I can't slither ten paces without gagging or getting chills. Corpses and legos are strewn across every surface. Guests never come over, but that's nothing new. It's the wide berth the neighbors give our house that truly hurts my feelers. I suppose the stench is too unbearable for humans.

When the kids are loud, I know they're making a mess. When they're quiet, I know they're making a bigger mess. You know how it is.

Dominic wears destruction like a dirty diaper. If I feel the howling wind in my scales, it means another room has blown apart. Half the house has been rebuilt thanks to his little toy bombs. He's a one-man wrecking crew and a mad scientist stuffed into one body.

Coral leaves crumbs of rotting flesh everywhere she goes. Her appetite is insatiable. Another neighborhood dog has gone missing? I think I found his foot on Coral's pillow. People should really stop naming their pets "Cookie" and "Cupcake."

Then, there's Butane Bruce. He propels himself around the house on gas emissions. If I can't find Bruce, I simply light a match and follow the flames. I also hold my breath. (We suspect that Bruce is the source of the horrid smell of our house, but we haven't hearts black enough to tell him.)

And finally, the baby. Rosalie is small and sneaky and there are currently a dozen warrants for her arrest. Murder. Attempted murder. Grand theft auto. We would turn her in to the police if we could catch her, but she is a slippery eel. Most people think it's her teeth you should be afraid of, but I recommend staying away from her toenails.

I have to clean up after all of them: droppings, sheddings, bleedings, vomits, comets, all of it. They leave behind skin, fur, claws, earwax, and snot. But I wouldn't trade any of my monster children for the world. I would trade them for about five bucks.